


The Perks of Being Bigfoot's Boyfriend

by DefinitelyAlmostHuman



Series: Fictober 2020 [7]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26962735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefinitelyAlmostHuman/pseuds/DefinitelyAlmostHuman
Summary: Stern and Barclay go on a road trip
Relationships: Barclay/Agent Stern (The Adventure Zone)
Series: Fictober 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954525
Comments: 1
Kudos: 36





	The Perks of Being Bigfoot's Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Fictober day 11! "back up"

“Alright, back up, back up. Just a little more. Perfect!” Barclay snapped the picture as Stern grinned for the camera, posing with a statue of--you guessed it--Bigfoot. 

“Barclay, come over here! You should take a picture too!” 

Barclay laughed as Stern tugged on his arm, bringing him close to the statue. “Why? I hardly need a picture with myself.” 

“It’s for the memory! Besides, wouldn’t it be a great picture? Bigfoot with Bigfoot!” Stern motioned to the statue, grinning all the while. “It will be perfect for the scrapbook I’m making.”

“Shh, not so loud, Love,” Barclay teased, poking Stern on the nose. He blinked. “Wait, did you say you’re making a scrapbook?” 

Stern shrugged and held his phone up high, snapping a picture of the two of them. “That’s right. I wanted something to remember this trip by, so…” 

Barclay chuckled. “Why not just make a photo album?” 

Stern rolled his eyes. “That’s no fun.”

Barclay shook his head. “I can’t believe you.” He wore a light-hearted smile, and chuckled softly at his boyfriend. Ridiculous as always, this one. 

Stern grabbed Barclay’s wrist and pulled him toward the museum. “Come on! Let’s go inside!” There was a glimmer in Stern’s eyes--an excitement that was easy to place. After all, they had come all the way out to California for this place. It was Stern’s way of “getting to know” Barclay’s past or something--which was silly because Stern could always just ask. 

“You know most of the stuff in there is totally fake.” Barclay trailed behind Stern, playing the skeptic. Although it was true. A lot of the things in the various Bigfoot museums were not real pieces of “evidence.” Maybe a couple of the footprints, a hair sample or two at most… But those were hard to get. 

The couple entered the museum, greeted by an old woman who smiled and welcomed them in. She stared up at Barclay for a moment in awe--but Barclay was used to that, due to his size even in his human form. 

“Ooh, Barclay, look at this!” Stern tugged on Barclay’s arm, pulling him over to some supposed casts of Bigfoot’s feet. “You think these are real?” There it was again--that childlike excitement. 

Barclay shrugged. He knew Stern was asking seriously, but he didn’t want to draw too much attention. “Who knows.” 

“Oh, those are real. They were taken right here in Six Rivers National Forest. It’s said he lives up there. People come from all around to find him.” The old woman from the front desk suddenly popped up behind them, causing Barclay to jump slightly in surprise. 

Barclay shifted awkwardly. Well, at least people were way off about where he lived. What would they say if they knew Bigfoot was a cook in a small town in West Virginia?

Stern’s eyes sparkled, and his attention was fully on the lady in front of them. “You don’t say? How many people go out there, would you say?” 

“Oh, I couldn’t tell you. But there are quite a few who go hunting in those woods.” She turned her attention to the casts Stern and Barclay had been looking at. “It’s said that his feet are at least 14 inches long.” 

“Hmmm I’d say it’s more like 17,” Stern noted absentmindedly. 

Barclay shot Stern a look, but it was lost on the man who was too busy being hunched over the display case, inspecting the “artifact” in front of him. God, Barclay was dating a huge nerd, wasn’t he? 

The woman looked up at Stern in shock. “Have you seen other evidence?” 

Stern looked at the woman, shocked at first, then realized he was probably being very suspicious. “Oh, no, I was just guessing. Those are some big feet.” He said, motioning to the casts. “So, you hear any good stories about Sasquatches in these parts?” 

A master at deflecting. Barclay expected nothing less from his FBI honey. He smiled and shook his head. Well, at least his identity was safe. For now. 

The woman launched into a long, detailed account about some little kid who was saved by a “big hairy man” in the forest, and all the while Stern was glancing at Barclay like ‘was this you? Did you really do this?’ which Barclay had no answer to. Hell if he could remember. He wasn’t all that careful back that, but it sounded like something he might do.    
After about an hour in the museum with Stern pulling Barclay around asking about the authenticity of different pieces of evidence, the two left for their motel. Bigfoot motel. It was almost a little embarrassing. Barclay wasn’t sure he liked being the center of attention like that.

“So, who’s next on your list? Mothman? Should we pay him a visit?”

Stern laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. At least Bigfoot has actual evidence.” 

Barclay pursed his lips and walked forward, hands in his pockets, and said nothing. 

Stern blinked. “Wait, Barclay, is Mothman real.”

Barclay walked forward, still not saying anything. 

Stern ran to catch up to Barclay, an edge to his voice that couldn’t quite be placed. “Is Mothman real? Barclay! Hey!” 


End file.
